A pianist
Mr. Fraser although I am getting better I still cannot seem to go on the piano and just let go mentally of my right arm and hand. I understand what I am supposed to do and my teacher (the one who trained me not the one in conservatory) always talked about the arch and the role of the back and the hand, but I just never feel like I am doing things right on the piano. I know that I have internal problems in my hand (slowly being dealt with as you know) but there are moments when I have release and I play absolutelly freely with no pain. I can rarelly reproduce that when practicing. It's like I want to feel uncomfortable and pain. I am at a point where i don't see my teachers often and I always think that Im not doing things right. The music sounds and my hands look fine but something in me doesn't. Yet in moments of inspiration and release everything suddenly comes naturally. My hands just tailor to my body and phrases that I would normally work hours on just come to me. I understand that there are physical things to take care of (a result of 10 years intense karate and judo and bad training up until the age of 15) and will take time but own mind and body seem to work against me being comfortable at the piano.